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--BETRAYAL-- by ~frosty502:iconfrosty502:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open




betrayed
stabbed in the back
replaced
discarded

You ask whats wrong
with this look of concern
stare into my eyes
like you care

I don't buy it
not anymore atleast

I open myself up
and bear my torn heart
telling me things will be alright
I don't believe your lies

Speaking kind words
words of comfort
saying you'll always protect me
never let me be hurt

I don't buy it
not anymore atleast

Down on your knees
yet you knew
knew you had hurt me
I don't understand why

One thing I do know
is what truely matters to you
the trust is broken
no matter what you say

I don't buy it
not anymore aleast

So I will replace the mask
so noone will see
I'll hide these tears
once again


ps- i forgot to put in the description:

this is not because of any one person... i have issues is all..heh
©2004-2009 ~frosty502
:iconfrosty502:

Author's Comments

Something I've been wanting to say...

Comments


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:iconkwazo:
=kwazo Apr 19, 2004, 12:58:38 PM
Edit and add description, the description makes the whole piece, images and lots of them. Images are what we remember and capture us. Otherwise it is just a list of plain feelings that can be very dull.

You have the framework here, now try and build on that and capture your reader.

few typos

noone = Not a word, No one?
atleast = at least
truely= truly
whats = what's

It's a start :)
:icon4shadow:
~4shadow Apr 19, 2004, 1:00:00 PM
mabye all that person can do is kind words since that is all he did before

--
i feel the darkness filling my very soul dissolving what little light that i carried and i fear what i will become please someone stop this terrible darkness from taking over me i know not what it is or its purpose but please stop it...please..before...it....ta kes....hold..........
:iconmoonlitshadow:
~MoonlitShadow Apr 19, 2004, 1:02:07 PM
nice work, raw emotion works well here. i cant wait to read more. hope things start to look up for you.

--
~There is hope in tomorrow, so always try and get there.

Take a moment for some good reading. View my :gallery: [link]"
:iconmonkeynana:
~monkeynana Apr 19, 2004, 2:33:55 PM
woooh.. good goood gooooooooooood stufff...
:iconneko--o-o:
~Neko--o-O Apr 19, 2004, 3:31:16 PM
The spelling errors were already pointed out, so all I have to say now is great work ^__^

--
fwar
:cuddle:
:iconspecifulme:
~specifulme Apr 19, 2004, 3:34:57 PM
wow...thats so amazing...i've felt that way with so many people...*sighs* dont put on a mask though...b/c if you do...it'll be stuck...and...*sigh* masks arent any good...

--
my club: ~WBNK


"I'm confused. Wait.... maybe I'm not."
:iconfrosty502:
~frosty502 Apr 19, 2004, 6:11:31 PM
hmm, i see what ya mean. heh, i do tend to make alot of spelling errors ^^;

--
*rocks back and forth*

*hums quietly*

:rose:
:iconfrosty502:
~frosty502 Apr 19, 2004, 6:12:36 PM
heh, thanks :hug:

--
*rocks back and forth*

*hums quietly*

:rose:
:iconfrosty502:
~frosty502 Apr 19, 2004, 6:13:15 PM
heh ^-^ thankies!

--
*rocks back and forth*

*hums quietly*

:rose:
:iconfrosty502:
~frosty502 Apr 19, 2004, 6:14:53 PM
guess i should go back and check for errors ^^;

but thanks

--
*rocks back and forth*

*hums quietly*

:rose:
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